I haven't been around much because this entire month has been one long, drawn-out, torturous, emotional hell that I haven't been able to escape from... well, no, scratch that, this whole school year has just been a miserable experience. Every day, day in, day out, is exactly the same... even the weekends hold no solace from this routine. Wake up. Go to school. Go home. Rinse, wash, repeat. On top of that, my boyfriend's been grounded for a month now, I caused drama with his mom (which I eventually fixed), and broke ties with somebody I thought was a best friend...

This has been my worst year of high school, hands down. At no other time in my life have I lost so much of my passion for, well, everything. Drawing, writing, working on my conlang, reading, even watching TV and playing my favorite games of all time, Pokemon... I've lost the drive to do anything, except surf the internet, sleep, and wish I could talk to my boyfriend. I feel hopeless. I feel helpless.

I feel like a failure.

I don't even know what I want to do with my life. And I see super-talented artists barely older than I am that are much better than me, with much more experience roll out tons of great artwork like freaking printers on speed, and I'm sitting here like a pile of shit. I feel worthless. Useless. Not confident whatsoever.

I need serious help, or I may explode. I think I'm teetering on the edge of a breakdown.